A petition has been filed by the Oklahoma Attorney General to remove an Oklahoma judge for "pleasuring himself" on the bench, through the use of a "male enhancement pump." [link]

There's something seriously wrong with the press in this country when a paper can write a story and headline it "U.S. Emphasizes Intent to Transfer Full Power to Iraqis -- With Limits".. and not even acknowledge the contradiction. Freedom is slavery, folks. [link]

"It's extremely difficult to govern when you control all three branches of government," says [House majority leader Dennis] Hastert spokesman John Feehery. [link]

Republicans outsource fundraising: According to reports, for 14 months between May 16, 2002, and July 22, 2003, HCL eServe had more than 100 agents working in seven teams soliciting financial contributions for the Republican Party. [link]

George W. Bush bereitet sich auf eine Rede vor (George W. Bush prepares for a speech). In RealPlayer and WMV formats. [link]

Horror movie villains, in order of scariness [link]

Terrorist Abu Musab Zarqawi recently made headlines again by releasing of a video of an American being executed. Bush had an opportunity to strike his base in Iraq in 2002, but passed it up, because showing we had the ability to strike terrorists in Iraq would have weakened the case for the war. [link]

Presumptive Democratic nominee John F. Kerry on Friday collected the endorsement of the International Brotherhood of Police Officers, a police union that backed President Bush in the 2000 election. [link]

Certain CF military intelligence officers told the ICRC that in their estimate between 70% and 90% of the persons deprived of their liberty in Iraq had been arrested by mistake. [link]

I expect them to be treated, the POWs, I expect to be treated humanely, just like we're treating the prisoners that we have captured humanely. If not, the people who mistreat the prisoners will be treated as war criminals. -George W. Bush, 3/23/2003 [link]

A journalist, speaking to voters with incredulity: "Up until now, people were looking for bold leadership, honesty, a vision for the future. And yet they're all talking policy. Is that where the Democratic nominee is going to go, rather than focusing on attributes, they re going to focus on policy?" [link]

The AP released a story which characterized a speech Donald Rumsfeld made as an 'apology' for the torture of Iraqi prisoners. The Defense Department quickly demanded a retraction: Rumsfeld had simply said the torture was unacceptable, and not apologized. [link]

Press passes will be available for bloggers at the 2004 Democratic national convention. [link]

Bill Ward waited an hour to see Bush speak. Ward said he was asked if he supported Bush in 2000. "I said I didn't vote for him then and I won't vote for him now," Ward said. "They asked some girl to escort me out and I told them I don't need to be escorted out. I'm a veteran of World War II." [link]

A federal drug agent shot himself in the leg during a gun safety presentation to children and his bosses are investigating..."Everyone was pretty shaken up," Farmer said. "But the point of gun safety hit home." [link]

The tactics of conquest are the only ones that will work, but are unacceptable to us and conterproductive to our long-term goal of engaging Muslims. The conclusion is obvious to anyone willing to accept hard facts: conventional military force is simply not the right weapon for the war on terror. [link]

President Bush has taken to accusing critics of his Iraq policy of racism: "There's a lot of people in the world who don't believe that people whose skin color may not be the same as ours can be free and self-govern." Not the same as "ours," you say? [link]

E-mail marketing experts estimate that there are 1,300,925,111,156,286,160,896 ways to write the word 'Viagra' in an e-mail subject. [link]

Patriot Act Suppresses News Of Challenge to Patriot Act. nuff said. [link]

NPR's lawyers believe that the FCC's new "zero tolerance" rule prevents use of the word "suck." And the cable companies rub their hands together with glee. Great example of how Republicans can scratch the backs of the religious right -and- big business, while still letting decency standards slip. [link]

I won't hazard a guess about why we're spending twice as much on "nuclear activities" as we were ten years ago and are now talking about using them not to "deter" enemies but to "defeat" them. But it seems very odd. Scarier than Strangelove, really. [link]

I love this image so much. A Bush supporter who's trying to look like he's jabbed out his own eyes with American flags. I think they should use it in an ad. [link]

The staggering dicketry of Bobby Flay. [link]

Is there any GOP issue that isn't related to terrorism? Looks like no: "President Bush has worked to say let's work to value life, let's reduce the number of abortions...and, really, the fundamental issue between us and the terror network we fight is that we value every life." - adviser Karen Hughes [link]

These guys pretend to honor military virtues and then spend their airtime trashing a guy who volunteered for duty in Vietnam and was genuinely heroic under fire while he was there. They should be ashamed of themselves. [link]

The HIV clinic where I work doesn't accept patients who have health insurance. We're in service for people who have no other options--not Medicaid, not Medicare, not anything. So imagine my surprise when someone came into my office today who has a full-time job. She works 40 hours a week at WalMart. [link]

Military records. "Intelligent, mature and rich in educational background and experience, Ens Kerry is one of the finest young officers I have ever met and without question one of the most promising." vs "Lt. Bush has not been observed at this unit during the period of report." [link]

A leading anti-corruption group claims as much as 90 percent of U.S. money spent in Iraq is being lost to corruption. [link]

Down to two hots a day. [link]

On "The Swan:" I'm convinced Hitler didn't die in 1945, but is working as a Fox programming executive. Only an SS officer could feel comfortable with a show where breaking down humans, encouraging their insecurities, and then carving them up like a turkey is the primary attraction. [link]

Although he likes to talk about how he's a born-again Christian, the President seems to have his own ideas about theology. In a speech yesterday, Bush declared that Iraqi insurgents "have no soul." In the past, he has said the same of the terrorists involved in the Bali bombing, and Osama bin Laden. [link]

"The end of July 2002, they need $700 million, a large amount of money for all these tasks [preparing for war in Iraq]. And the president approves it. But Congress doesn't know and it is done. They get the money from a supplemental appropriation for the Afghan War, which Congress has approved." [link]

Unabrdiged quote from a joint Bush-Blair press conference today. Q: (Egyptian President) Hosni Mubarak is saying the new U.S. policy on the West Bank could escalate violence. How do you respond to his concerns? BUSH: Yes, I think this is a fantastic opportunity. [link]

Rush Limbaugh asserted on Wednesday that if John Kerry wins the Presidency, the Clintons will assassinate him in order to ensure that Hillary can run in 2008. [link]

To our families in Baghdad: Do not leave your homes and do not go to school, universities, offices...from April 15 2004 to April 23 2004, since your brothers the Mujahadieen...will transfer the resistance fire to Baghdad...to free you from the darkness of the occupier, and so you have been warned. [link]

This site watches every new post to every single LiveJournal, strips out just the image links, and collects them all here. Totally new set of images every 30 seconds or so. [link]

The Atkins diet craze has sparked a dramatic increase in the rate of cattle-rustling. [link]

Wal-Mart and Kmart are about to begin selling a pair of RCA-branded DVD players that automatically block out potentially offensive language, sexual content and graphic violence from select pre-recorded DVDs. [link]

Condoleezza Rice is guilty of perjury. [link]

The Russian Parliament voted last week to make public demonstrations illegal. [link]

Two thirds of companies operating in US paid no taxes from 1996 to 2000. Interesting to note that the government ran the biggest surplus in history during those years, though. Then again, we're running the biggest deficit in history now -- which of these facts does the tax thing explain, I wonder? [link]

Richard Paey, a 45-year-old father of three who sits in a wheelchair, debilitated by multiple sclerosis and chronic pain from botched back surgery, is now facing a 25-year mandatory minimum sentence for forging painkiller prescriptions. Rush Limbaugh, on the other hand, has not yet been charged... [link]

The Justice Department's operation to rid the world of porn: 32 prosecutors, investigators and a handful of FBI agents are spending millions of dollars to bring anti-obscenity cases to courthouses across the country for the first time in 10 years. [link]

Optimists International can now claim Baghdad, Iraq as the home of its most recently organized chapter. Founded in 1919 with chapters in 28 countries, Optimists is a service organization best known for "bringing out the best in kids." -- From a CPA press release, April 1, 2004 [link]

George Bush first asked Tony Blair to support the removal of Saddam Hussein from power at a private White House dinner nine days after the terror attacks of 11 September, 2001. Blair told Bush he should not get distracted from the war on terror's initial goal--dealing with al-Qaeda in Afghanistan. [link]

The fighting erupted when five trucks of US soldiers and the Iraqi Civil Defense Corps tried to enter the [al-Showla] district and were attacked by Sadr supporters...Coming under fire, the ICDC, a paramilitary force trained by the Americans, turned on the US soldiers and started to shoot at them. [link]

The Bush administration argued before the Supreme Court last week in favor of a Nevada law under which anyone can be arrested for refusing to identify themselves to a police officer. Papers, please? [link]

Texans Jacqueline Mercado and Johnny Fernandez have regained custody of their children. Last fall, CPS took custody after Mercado had a roll of film developed with a photo of their 1-year-old son breastfeeding. They were arrested for "sexual performance of a child." This is not an April Fools' joke. [link]

Sibel Edmonds said she spent more than three hours in a closed session with the 9/11 commission's investigators providing information that was circulating within the FBI in the spring and summer of 2001 suggesting that an attack using aircraft was just months away and the terrorists were in place. [link]

We've all seen the photos of a mob of Iraqi men and boys defiling the burnt corpses of murdered Americans. Billmon has a great piece reminding us that hateful mob violence is not just for Muslims, nor is it a sign of an unredeemable society. Those who want to nuke Fallujah should read this instead. [link]