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Here I sit, my spirits drooped,/ Meant to fart, instead I pooped.
Tue Aug 18, 2015 14:51 EDT
Today was the day, I knew it when I awoke and I spent the better part of the day preparing myself. I could hardly wait. When the time finally came I removed all my clothes and squatted down in front of my shrine. I pushed. gently at first but gradually ramping up the power until about 2 feet of dark, knobby turdmatter exited my winking butthole. I knelt in front of it. "You are so beautiful" I said. I picked up my malodorous creation and held it like a fragile infant. I softly kissed its sticky brown surface until my appetite could no longer be controlled. I wolfed down my massive poop like a stoned college student at a free, all-u-can-eat taco bell buffet and when I was finished there was only one thought in my mind as I licked the chocolate doodoobutter from my fingers "wow! It's much better the third time around, I cant wait until tomorrow!"
Fri Apr 03, 2015 00:12 EDT
Hubby doesn't get my fascination with poop. I was constipated for a long time and now that I'm finally going on a regular basis I get way too excited. I've had explosive diarreah the past few days which have NOT been fun...damn my reaction to caffeine! :( But I love a good shit where it just all comes out at once and you're done! I laughed so hard this morning at these posts LOL. poop is awesome.
Sun Aug 03, 2014 12:05 EDT
I am still not sure if there is something to make of these strange poops that involve an initial hard "cork" followed by a long flow of diarrhea. Are they named? May I adventure into fecal taxonomic science and throw caution to the wind and just declare them Encorkated Diarrhea?
Tue Sep 17, 2013 16:01 EDT
I would like to jar this particular cloud of poo steam I have trapped beneath my comforter. It has a sweetness to it, not unlike Splenda-infused air. I wish to savor this at another time. Well, I moved and that succulent stench swam away. The anus giveth and the atmosphere taketh away...
Sun Jan 13, 2013 04:57 EST
I HAVE OFTEN WONDERED HOW A GREAT SMELLING, DELICIOUS DINNER OF BEEFSTEAK, B-RED POTATOES, LIMA BEANS AND SALAD TRANSFORMS INTO A EVIL SMELLING, PUTRID, HILARIOUS KNOBBY BROWN TUBE OF NASTINESS.
Sat Sep 01, 2012 00:55 EDT
Also took a skunk stinking dump the other day. Wonder what food combos result in that particular stench .
Thu Jan 20, 2011 13:08 EST
It is possible and have done it before. I caution any of you who try it though. The fire will ignite the gas but your anus, when clenching after the fart, might suck the gas plus fire back inside. It is not an enjoyable. I always ignite through a pair of bvd's.
Fri Jun 13, 2008 11:28 EDT
Last night Katrina and I shared a pint of Crown Royal, and this morning we woke up and took identical-smelling shits. Like, wow.
Sat May 26, 2007 11:32 EDT
My farts are so frequent and smell so bad tonight that my wife cancelled sex and plans to sleep on the couch. A mix of sulphur & skunk, with a healthy dose of poo, at a rate of one fart every 3 minutes.
Fri Feb 02, 2007 22:35 EST
If I have the time, I love taking a dump at work - at least you get paid for it! I'm not a happy bunny at the moment. I'm not constipated but I've got a bottleneck at the exit and it won't come out. I've tried several times but it just keeps accumulating there. It's uncomfortable. I can't wait to get rid of it all!
Fri Sep 08, 2006 10:56 EDT
What really gives me a lot of stinky gas are jamba juice drinks. I guess it must be from all the carbohydrates or something. Whenever I have one on my break at work, I begin farting on the sales floor within half an hour. When a customer has a questions and says "Excuse me, sir . . .", I want to say back, "No excuse ME!"
Tue Aug 08, 2006 13:07 EDT
taking another shit-oh-two-eleven. this one is pretty well formed, but smelly.
Sat Feb 12, 2005 04:38 EST
After a night of sushi, egg nog, and a bottle of tequila, my bowels were aching to be released this morning. The smell was insane, like fresh newborn baby diaper poo - it was almost fruity.
Mon Dec 20, 2004 18:14 EST
Oh man, I took the most awesome dump yesterday. I'd JUST got back from Mongolian BBQ, and was sitting in my computer chair when I felt the urge to fart. However, as I pushed down with my diaphragm to expell the noxious gas, I realized at the very last second that at this moment, my rectum contained far more than mere fartgas. Upon averting this near disaster, I promptly made a dash for the toilet, fired one solid dung cork out, and oh how the spicy river did flow. I let it run its course and tidied up a bit, then proceeded to stand up. As soon as I did so, I heard my stomach growl and felt something shift - and JUST BARELY had enough time to sit back down before pure unadultered Pepsi came pouring out of my anus into the already fetid bowl. After admiring my handiwork (and it was quite impressive, let me tell you), I sent it away to wherever it is great turds go, and realizing that I'd just expelled my entire dinner not 30 minutes after consuming it, made a sandwich and ate it! The end [link
Fri Dec 17, 2004 11:59 EST
i was farting for about 14 hours straight and finally someone ran up to me and sprayed some spray cologne on me. it started smelling exactly like a bathroom. that's when i told the guy that his bullshit spray cologne is actually bathroom freshner in a different bottle.
Thu Apr 22, 2004 01:27 EDT
I've seen an AVI
Wed Mar 24, 2004 10:13 EST
fartjournal - Mon Aug 20 18:10:55 2018
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