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I would like to jar this particular cloud of poo steam I have trapped beneath my comforter. It has a sweetness to it, not unlike Splenda-infused air. I wish to savor this at another time. Well, I moved and that succulent stench swam away. The anus giveth and the atmosphere taketh away...
Sun Jan 13, 2013 04:57 EST
My farts are so frequent and smell so bad tonight that my wife cancelled sex and plans to sleep on the couch. A mix of sulphur & skunk, with a healthy dose of poo, at a rate of one fart every 3 minutes.
Fri Feb 02, 2007 22:35 EST
What really gives me a lot of stinky gas are jamba juice drinks. I guess it must be from all the carbohydrates or something. Whenever I have one on my break at work, I begin farting on the sales floor within half an hour. When a customer has a questions and says "Excuse me, sir . . .", I want to say back, "No excuse ME!"
Tue Aug 08, 2006 13:07 EDT
Yesterday I had this 'red tea' which is 'rooibos.' It's the aged twigs and leaves of some south african shrub that doesn't resemble tea at all but is one of the most distinct beverage experiences ever. However here I am on the pot dropping some old friends of mine off at the pool, but today the old friends have a new and distinctive odor. Wow.
Mon Sep 26, 2005 12:45 EDT
After a night of sushi, egg nog, and a bottle of tequila, my bowels were aching to be released this morning. The smell was insane, like fresh newborn baby diaper poo - it was almost fruity.
Mon Dec 20, 2004 18:14 EST
guinness farts have distinctive odor just like guinness shits. in fact, many different varieties of booze have different fart/shit smells. for example, tequila, bourbon, and pabst blue ribbon are all distinct.
Tue Apr 13, 2004 02:06 EDT
wow, guinness farts have a distinctive odor. not totally unlike sushi farts. huh?
Mon Apr 12, 2004 04:18 EDT
my farts actually smell like skunk today. really. skunk. yuck.
Fri Apr 02, 2004 12:42 EST
once i had this job interview and it was long and went well so it included a lunch portion, during which we went to chinese buffet. i was like "whazzat?" and he was like "it's egg fu young" and i was like *shrug* *eat*. luckily, it took a few hours for the eggs to make it past the general tso's and fully activate in my large intestines, by which time i was at home and in the shower. now i love farting and all, but MAN did i wish i'd held that in. i mean, a small enclosed space filled with 10% concentration egg fu young metabolates. i'm not usually one to hate someone for farting but my self-loathing reached a new point that day.
Fri Mar 19, 2004 17:50 EST
so we were just in a cab where the driver kept falling asleep at red lights and then we got back to my place and i let a huge fart and it smelled and made a lot of noise and smelled a lot and i was like "whoa that smelled" and jeremiah was like "you oughta write about that in fartjournal" and i was like "that's a shitty story" but god did it smell and i hope they didn't smell that bad at the bar, because there were girls there. it smelled a lot. i don't think i've had eggs today. maybe it's the garlic.
Thu Mar 18, 2004 03:55 EST
what the hell is with those people who are sitting in a class, with a burrito wrapper on their desk, who will just not stop farting? that happened to me today and boy was it fucking gross. i wanted to tell this guy right in the middle of class to get up and go take a shit. what the hell. im not averse to the occasional anal wind, but if you're passing stinky bean essence all evening then you need to do something about it for the good of all mankind, or at least the segment that has to sit near you.
Tue Mar 16, 2004 00:29 EST
fartjournal - Tue Apr 23 00:05:36 2019
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