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Newest 50 articles by jeremiah. Click here to view newest 500 articles.

I am still not sure if there is something to make of these strange poops that involve an initial hard "cork" followed by a long flow of diarrhea. Are they named? May I adventure into fecal taxonomic science and throw caution to the wind and just declare them Encorkated Diarrhea?
Tue Sep 17, 2013 16:01 EDT
I pretty much took a shit today that felt like I was passing a bolder covered in thumb tacks. Once it was out, however, a stream of liqui-poo followed which wasn't pleasant. Saddly, the liquipoo soon became goopoo which, as those of us with hairy assholes know, sticks something horrible to your asshole. It took a lot of toilet paper and a shower to finally get all the shit off my butt. I hope that I don't have to concern myself with such a thing in the future.
Fri Dec 17, 2004 11:34 EST
Just a few days ago I deposited a turd so gargantuan it made my asshole blush. This creature was like none other. It was so large its gravitational field actually pulled the dingleberrys off my ass hairs. I stared at it in the toilet for a good half an hour before I flushed it. Now I understand how a prostitute feels when she's about to toss her illegitimate half Mexican baby in a dumpster. It was my baby... my big brown baby... and I was about to toss it away like so much feted uterine trash. I was its mother; its father was a cup of Super Kashi with 10g of fiber... as well as a salad and wheat veggie wrap and perhaps Sunday's and Saturday's meals as well.
Wed Apr 28, 2004 00:40 EDT
I recall when I was in college and sitting in my dorm room playing an arousing game of Quake a sudden pressure accumulated behind the gates of my sphintor. Naturally, the idea that a fart was about to erupt at any moment was almost thrilling... as I get excited at the slightest little things. Sitting in my chair I did my normal ass-hoist to expel the offending gasses when, suddenly and without warning, my ass cheeks were forced akimbo by the torrential gush of fecal matter blasting out of my anus. My pants filled up and were soon brimming as though a drunken waitress at a midnight diner was pouring coffee into my mug which was, amongst other things, too small.
Mon Mar 15, 2004 11:56 EST