Here I sit, my spirits drooped,/ Meant to fart, instead I pooped.

When I went to pee today, I found the toilet occupied by a cloudy little floater. I flushed away the cloud, but the little turd remained in the bowl. Undeterred, I put in my pee and gave it a flush, confident that that would send it on its journey. But no! A few hours later it was still there! Poor little turd. But this time, I gave him a big, strong poop to be his guide into the scatological afterlife. And lo, the two went boldly together into the beyond. I was so proud to be able offer assistance.

Three ears of grilled corn / Pound garden strawberry gems / Foot and a half poop

I perceive distress. / She ate bowling alley food. / Green soup in the bowl.