After a night of sushi, egg nog, and a bottle of tequila, my bowels were aching to be released this morning. The smell was insane, like fresh newborn baby diaper poo - it was almost fruity.

It's wierd how we feel about our own shit versus the shit of others. I went into the bathroom this morning to find that Greg hadn't completely flushed away some turds. I hit the flush lever and bolted the fuck out of there. Now I'm at work and I just took a shit here. I spent a good amount of time staring at the shit in the bowl up close before flushing, so I could write about it here. But then I started thinking about how we feel about shit. If it's ours we're fine hanging out with it and getting to know it for a little while. But if it's someone else's, mainly Greg's, we want it out of the way as soon as possible. Shit is shit, people! What gives?

Lately my shits have been regular and predictable. Soft, smelly, bright brown, falls apart in water, and happens about 1pm everyday (probably because I drink a mug of coffee before work). Greg's mom came into the bathroom at work while I was shitting today. I stayed in my stall till she was gone.

I hate taking shits at work because they make a lot of noise and smell up the huge bathroom. This particular one eerily resembled the pizza I ate last night, right down to the crumbled feta cheese and the spinach leaves. Only difference was that the cheese and spinach were brown but you can definitely tell what they were.