I am still not sure if there is something to make of these strange poops that involve an initial hard "cork" followed by a long flow of diarrhea. Are they named? May I adventure into fecal taxonomic science and throw caution to the wind and just declare them Encorkated Diarrhea?

I pretty much took a shit today that felt like I was passing a bolder covered in thumb tacks. Once it was out, however, a stream of liqui-poo followed which wasn't pleasant. Saddly, the liquipoo soon became goopoo which, as those of us with hairy assholes know, sticks something horrible to your asshole. It took a lot of toilet paper and a shower to finally get all the shit off my butt. I hope that I don't have to concern myself with such a thing in the future.

Just a few days ago I deposited a turd so gargantuan it made my asshole blush. This creature was like none other. It was so large its gravitational field actually pulled the dingleberrys off my ass hairs. I stared at it in the toilet for a good half an hour before I flushed it. Now I understand how a prostitute feels when she's about to toss her illegitimate half Mexican baby in a dumpster. It was my baby... my big brown baby... and I was about to toss it away like so much feted uterine trash. I was its mother; its father was a cup of Super Kashi with 10g of fiber... as well as a salad and wheat veggie wrap and perhaps Sunday's and Saturday's meals as well.